About Me

I'm creamy and flavorful. I go well with raspberries. I plan to keep getting more delightful with age, so stick around! I like to travel, both physically and in my own head. I buy a lot of books just because I like the way they look and smell. If "old paper" was a glade scent, I'd plug them in all over my house. Ummm... I can lick my elbow. If you're reading this, you've probably already had the pleasure of witnessing it. Also, I love dishwashers.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Chandler Vs. the Mail Lady

He's finally done it. 

After years of telling off their postal workers to no avail - watching hopelessly through the screen door as the uniformed fiends repeat their attacks again and again - dogs everywhere can rejoice in the fact that one more mailman has been defeated. Chandler won a decisive victory for team dog last Thursday when he managed to escape my back yard just as the mail was being delivered. Our maillady, as the case may be, is never coming back. 

He did not bite her, praise God, but he scared her pretty badly. He ran at her, barking and snarling, and chased her out of the yard. From what I've been able to find out, he stopped when she reached the sidewalk. That's about when I opened the door, and he trotted back to me, looking very pleased with himself. I won't say no one was hurt, because I'm sure the poor woman's pride was hurt when she went running from my yard, yelling in fright, in front of all my neighbors. My pride was hurt when I had to walk around the outside of my house in my pajamas, looking half dead (I had the flu), to inspect the hole he'd dug under the gate - all while enduring comments from neighbors about how my dog should be shot. It was wounded further when I cried in front of an animal control officer. Crying was the worst thing I could have done when I already had a head full of snot. It was not a shining day for me.

It was, however, a shining day for Chandler. He was feeling very clever and brave, indeed. He'd finally gotten past the annoying obstacles that prevent him from effectively defending our front yard, and he'd done so just in time to chase away our scariest and most persistent enemy. She hasn't set foot on our property since. Can there be any sweeter victory for a dog?

I've been rather grumpy and worried all week. I am no longer getting any mail delivered, and I have to figure out what to do about that. P.O. Box, maybe? I was forced to buy a 4th license for Chandler (since October), because even though I have two 2011 licenses and receipts that prove I paid for three of them, the argument with the officer ended with, "It's not in my computer." I was issued an intent to prosecute for failure to license my dog and violation of the leash law (even though he didn't leave my property). I've been busy with extra precautionary measures to make sure it never happens again.  Obviously, I don't actually think it's funny, especially since it's my fault, but my dad reminded me today to keep my sense of humor about the situation, so I'm trying.

This pictures helps. 

I'm guessing that this is face is somewhat similar to the one my mail lady encountered. Imagine how that tennis ball feels... Scary or not, the picture still makes me want to laugh, and it's a good reminder of how hopelessly ridiculous dogs can be. Especially mine. He's a buffoon. Sweet, loyal, a little too protective, and generally pretty obedient, but a buffoon none the less.