Things that confuse, frighten or anger me:

1. My luck with cell phones.  I have only ever owned 2 phones that worked well, both of which were hand-me-downs. First, there was the razor. It liked to adjust it's own volume settings and turn itself on and off - especially when I was in class. Then there was the purple terror that just could not follow instructions when it came text messages. I would glance at my phone by chance just in time to see it announce, "message sent." I'd panic, having no idea what message it had sent and to whom.  I once sent a guy a message that said "Happy Birthday!" 4 days AFTER his birthday... 4 times.

I had a wonderful phone last spring.  It's at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean now. My current phone scrambles my text messages, placing them willy nilly into folders so that I often reply to the wrong person. This could potentially lead to some awkward situations.

2. Sappy commercials. I know they’ve been around for a long time, but I swear they get more ridiculous every day. I can understand why Betty Crocker, Downy and Charmin make cheesy, feel-good commercials. They think they’re playing a part in good ol’ fashioned family values, and who I am to say they’re not?  Food motivates families to gather in the same room. Moms do a lot of laundry… toddlers have sensitive bottoms… But what makes banks, credit cards and insurance companies think they should be in on the action?  Who are these people who see a sappy commercial and actually think, “Hey, Mastercard really cares!” Do they think we’re all idiots?

3. The Easter Bunny. A giant rabbit that lays eggs? Did they make that up to confuse and/or terrify little kids? I remember seeing a commercial many years ago, in which a white rabbit lays an egg while clucking like a chicken... or was it a white chicken with pink rabbit ears stuck to his head? I just remember thinking, "What is wrong with that animal?!!"

4. Obama’s openness award. First, the ceremony at which he planned to accept an award for his exceptional openness with the press was his ONLY event that day (maybe all week?) that wasn’t closed to the press. Then they canceled the ceremony at the last minute due to unavoidable, undisclosed changes in the President’s schedule. Hmmm…

5. Robert Pattinson.

 Enough said.